Welcome to 2017! You made it through one of the strangest and let’s face it, gloomiest years in a long time – but you’re out the other side. It’s time to start fresh and make this year amazing. However, January blues are a real thing and with a belly full of cheese and crackers and a bank account that’s emptier than it’s been in a long time, January is always a hard one for Londoners. Well, for anyone really. But do not fear, there’s also something to do in London. There’s always something to make you feel healthier or simply get you out of the house. Here’s your end of January survival guide…

Free boot camp sessions

When January hits, you’ve drank all the gin and feel like a physical pig in blanket – what else is there to do but sweat it out? Boot camps are the perfect place for it. A lot of them offer a free trial class too – yay! It may seem impossible to do when there’s more ice than green grass outside, but put on an extra pair of socks and get going. Check out British Military Fitness for classes in 37 different locations, Fit for a Princess that’s for women only and Our Parks classes that are always free!

Hot yoga hopper

This much-loved form of yoga is a secret of the stars and is a blessing for sweating away all those Christmas drinks and gaining mindfulness and calm for the beginning of the year. It’s yoga but with heat… 40 degree heat to be precise and with only 40% humidity in the room. Take advantage of studios’ introductory offers and make it cost effective. There are so many located all around London so you can sample until your hearts content – or until you can perfect the downward dog. Some favourites are: Yoga Haven located in Clapham, Richmond and Islington who have a variety of different packages in their January sale and an introductory offer for new students. Hot Yoga Society in London Bridge offer 20 days membership for £35 and Hot Power Yoga which is a bit cooler than other studios (28 – 32 degrees) and have an introductory 30 day membership for just £40.

Sweaty Betty workout classes

Another free fitness class! London really is wanting us to get active. The workout brand offers free in-store classes with certified instructors. They have a class for everyone; from yoga to 80’s aerobics to bootcamp. Get sweaty and treat yourself to some shopping! You can book classes one day in advance and there’s classes at most branches in London. Check out their website to find out where, when and how to get your hands on a spot: http://www.sweatybetty.com/page/fynder/

Magical Lantern Festival

As the Christmas lights have dimmed and pavements are fast becoming Christmas tree grave yards, keep the spirit alive with a Magical Lantern Festival at Chiswick House and Gardens. Turns out you don’t have to be a Disney Princess to experience a lantern spectacular! From the 19^th January their doors will open for you to ‘Explore the Silk Road’ an adventure through Europe, Egypt, Persia, India and China. Keep an eye peeled for a luminous sculpture of the Houses of Parliament!  It runs until 26^th February and tickets are priced from £16.50.

House of Minalima

Calling all muggles! An exhibition of works by Minalima (responsible for the design collaboration on Harry Potter as well as the Fantastic Beasts phenomenon) is open and free for you to enjoy – but only until February 4^th! Hidden in Soho, in a creaky shack (no, it’s not the Weasley’s house) is the most intimate and interesting exhibition of them all. Crossed with a entrance gift shop and a gallery, this attraction showcases everything from props used in the films, prints of newspaper fronts from all the Potter films and all the memorabilia you cold wish to see. Honestly, it’s 3 stories high and full to the brim. The first floor is dedicated to Fantastic Beasts work whilst stories 2 and 3 is all about Potter. Don’t forget to visit the gift shop on your way out!

Alternative London Tour

Explore more of London, like we always say we will do. Delve into the lively East End and discover all that it has to offer from the experts. Alternative LDN have come together to show you what they love about their area; the graffiti, the sights and everything else in between. The guides are locals who are either involved in the local community or are well known street artists – they are the bible. They offer the tours on a pay-what-you-want basis, so if you think it’s great, then get out those notes. They offer their tours on foot, on bike, tours of pubs (my first choice) and even tours of the local graffiti. Visit http://www.alternativeldn.co.uk/ for more information.

La La Land

One of the hottest and most anticipated movies of the year (albeit we are only 9 days in…) is La La Land starring Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling. I had to put this one in, as I am eagerly awaiting it’s release! Not only that, but I am still choosing which of London’s amazing cinema houses to watch it at. Electric Cinema in Portobello with foot stools and leather arm chairs, Picture House Clapham with carefully hand picked beer to accompany my film or maybe Rich Mix Cinema in Shoreditch for a real artist and film lover experience? If it’s as good as the critics are saying, I may just got to them all.

Natural History Museum

Farewell Dippy, the beloved dinosaur has been welcoming visitors to the museum for 120 years. He’s currently being flat-packed to be taken on a 2 year nationwide tour – well, we couldn’t keep him forever could we? His 3 and a half week dismantlement means that Hintze Hall, the famously intricate masterpiece, will be closed to visitors until he has been packed away.  We’re all sad to see Dippy leave the capital (after all, he is a capital fellow), but this is a reminder that we shouldn’t take the world-class, and best of all free, museum on our doorstop for granted.

Top Secret Comedy Club

Unfortunately, not so secret anymore! We all need a good laugh in January and this is a perfect night out with friends, date night or even a work night out – comedy is for everyone, after all. As it showcases some new, some unknown and some random stand ups, the tickets are very reasonable! On a Thursday, you can get an adult ticket for just £5, but are only £10 on other nights too. There’s a bar selling reasonable drinks and easy, central location – what more do you need?

One New Change

The frost is out and London has never looked so pretty than in Winter time, so why not look at our City from a brand new angle? One New Change is a beautiful shopping centre with an even better view. Bypass the shops (well, try…) and head to the glass elevator and ride it all the way to the top. There is the most perfect view of St Pauls – like you’re stood on top of it. Look to your left and London is open before your eyes. It’s a secret London spot.

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I’m guessing right now you’re part human part sloth and you haven’t seen a scrap of food in the last 48 hours that wasn’t wrapped in cling film. And don’t even get me started on the cheese board demolition. But that’s what we love about Christmas! I hope you had a beautiful Christmas and are relaxing on Boxing Day. Who’s ready for New Year’s Eve? Well if you’re not ready yet, read on and you will be…

1. New Year’s Eve ball carnivale, Battersea 

This is the crème de la crème of NYE parties/balls and well, anything. At the Battersea Evolution, the NYE carnivale is a night of magical live entertainment, incredible food and an electric atmosphere. From 7:30 a.m. the party starts and truly doesn’t stop until you see the fireworks from the Thames that bring you into 2017 that are live streamed into the party. You don’t miss a thing! There’s a drink and canapé reception, a four course banquet, unlimited house beer, wine and soft drinks all night and even casino tables for that extra entertainment. Get practicing your samba and searching for your outfit to make an appearance at this night not to forget! Tickets start at £175.

2. Last Bottomless Brunch, Coin Laundry  

See out 2016 with what us Londoners do best – brunch. A bottomless brunch at that! The Coin Laundry are bringing us a brunch with a difference with a 1970’s theme and a fun day to remember. Get tickets with as many friends as you like and spend your slot playing retro bingo, doing a list of funny tasks and of course, drinking unlimited Bloody Mary’s, gin & elderflower and Buck’s Fizz for 2 hours. That’s a lot of 70’s drinking and escapades! Tickets are £35 and with that you also get a main meal, a complimentary desert and 2-4-1 voucher. This brunch just keeps on giving and will set you up perfectly for your last night of the year.

3.  The Adventure Bar 

Party animals, this one’s for you. I’m not trying to be funny – that is the theme for this fancy dress event! Let’s face it, we all bring the new year in with a drink… or 5. So if unlimited booze is what you’re looking for above anything else, then Adventure Bar is offering exactly that. It makes it even better that it’s fancy dress and there’s a £100 bar tab for the best dressed animal! Kitty cat anyone? At their Clapham venues (High Street and Junction) you can get an entry ticket or an all-you-can-drink ticket. There’s also buffet food served between 7 p.m.-9 p.m. to line your stomachs (just like our mums tell us too). In their Covent Garden branch it’s just an entry ticket which gets you guaranteed entry before 10 p.m. So get you kitten ears on, draw on your whiskers and get ready to drink your way into 2017.

4.  A New Year’s Eve Thames boat ride 

If you weren’t successful in getting tickets for the famous London fireworks, but still want to see the Capital light up – then a boat ride is your answer. What’s better than a front row seat to beautiful fireworks whilst floating down the river? Board early, have some drinks, be treated to dinner on-board and ring in the New Year on the waterways. There’s still so many options for tickets with all different offers including City Cruises that are offering tickets for their Celestial Cruise that comes with a deluxe hamper filled with food and champagne as well as live music by Sax & Honey. There’s also London Party Boats that are offering disco cruises with packages suitable for every bank account.

5.  Rooftop bar – a drink with the view of fireworks

On any other normal night the views across London are unmissable, but on NYE? They’re going to be spectacular. The Sky Garden has tickets available for their 1920’s Great Gatsby bash up in their rooftop gardens renowned for the amazing views and even better tasting cocktails! There’ll be music from Juke Joints as well as the option for a ticket that includes dinner at the Brassiere. If a view is what you’re looking for – then Madison rooftop bar is one to check out, Skylounge at Hilton has amazing views over Tower Bridge, and of course the Oxo Tower is always unmissable!

6. An Inception New Year 

The Inception Group are famous around London for having THE best themed bars, restaurants and clubs. They’re like no others and they prove just how crazy the imagination can be! Between their venues all across London, they’re offering us some amazing options for New Year’s Eve. At Bunga Bunga, Battersea Don Vito Corleone and Silvio Berlusconi invite you with a glass of champagne to a decadent 7 course meal to see the year out right. Your ticket (£95) also gets you access to the party until 4 a.m. At Mr. Fogg’s residence (Mayfair), he and Passepartout are back from their travels and are holding a Victorian Masquerade extravaganza. There are canapés flowing and unlimited Belvedere creations all night – all you need is your Venetian mask! Visit their website for even more NYE themed nights.

7. New Year’s Day Parade 

For the past 30 years, the London’s New Year’s Day Parade or the LNYDP as well like to call it, has been showcasing the very best of what London has to offer. It’s certainly grown since the 2,000 participants at the very beginning – now there’s 10,000 participants with a street audience of over 500,000. The annual London parade kicks off this year at 12 noon from Piccadilly and is nonstop fun and attractions all the way down to Parliament Street. Joining us this year in the parade is Alexis I Du Pont High School with their 8th appearance in the festivities, All The Queen’s Horses with their equestrian show, American Cop Cars and much much more. Keep checking our lineup of musicians, performers and floats here. Along with the parade, there’ll be entries from some of the 31 boroughs of London in some form of entertainment in the theme of the year to showcase the diversity and greatness of our beloved City. Keep your eyes out for yours!

8.  Serpentine fun run

Fancy making the start of the year your best one yet and not just a hungover mess craving Dominoes? Make good on your best intentions and get involved in the Serpentine Running Club’s 10k New Year’s Day run. I mean, that is a lot to ask; so if you still fancy getting sweaty but not up to a 10k, get involved in their 3k run as well. The run will start on Main Street and take you through some of London’s prettiest green area— Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens and then finish near the new boathouse, west of Winter Wonderland. Their 10k starts at 11 a.m. and the 3k at 12 p.m. Good luck!

9. New Years Day Breakfast Club 

New Year’s Day antics are slowly becoming just as extravagant and massive as the night’s before. In London, there’s always something going on and NYD is no different. Time to brush yourself off, have a coffee and get back to the festivities! Percolate have teamed up with The Breakfast Club to bring you a day of partying to carry on from NYE, with a fresh breakfast of pastries and a buffet table to give you fuel for the hours ahead. There’s DJ’s including Jane Fitz’s 4-hour techno set, MR Solid Gold, Park Ranger and Saoirse will all be there for the first breakfast of the year!

10. Motown the Musical  

The brand new musical to hit Broadway is one to surely get you moving – who doesn’t love a Motown boogie? The Shaftesbury Theatre has the pleasure of hosting Berry Gordy’s journey from featherweight boxer to music mogul who is responsible for launching some of our musical legends – Diana Ross, Smokey Robinson and Michael Jackson. Watch the stories behind the hits of the legends and how Motown became the soundtrack that changed America. I’m sure you won’t be spending much time in your seat at this one – you can’t resist when the songs get going! Tickets are from £41 and it’s here until April.

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I have been talking about it for weeks, my housemates have been eating mince pies since they hit the shelves – but this week it’s officially the start of Christmas. I hope you have all been getting festive and enjoying the magical, joyful, and downright amazing things that London has to offer. Even a stroll down Regent Street will get you in the Christmas mood. But don’t worry, even if this is not your most favourite time of the year, there’s so much going on this week that will keep you occupied.

1. The London Shuffle Club, Shoreditch

If you, like me, thought Shuffle boarding was just for OAP’s in retirement homes then prepared to be very surprised. Of course London has taken something completely random and unknown and made it cool – it’s what we’re good at! this is 21,000 square feet of fun, drinks and (just to make it that much better) pizza. Prepare yourself for your new favourite night out. There are 8 shuffleboard courts, 2 corn hole courts and a 22ft table shuffleboard.  Just before you think this is boring exercise that you won’t be good at – there’s also a motorbike serving process to all of those in need of alcohol, a DJ booth to keep you boogying ad a pizza kitchen to keep you fuelled. Who knew physical exercise could be this fun? A court and a margarita please!

There’s no need to book a court – just show up! But, if you are the organised kind and like to prebook, every booking receives a complimentary shuffleboard lesson courtesy of their in-house shuffleboard specialists. You’ll be a pro in no time.

www.londonshuffle.com

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMi6XadDOfA/?taken-by=ldnshuffle

2. Trainspotting LIVE (£25.00 at The Vaults, Waterloo)

This has been receiving rave reviews; according to Box Dust it’s ‘seventy-five of the most intense, funny, and moving minutes of theatre’. Brought to you by In Your Face Theatre’s Scottish cast for the 21st anniversary production this brutal, raw and unapologetic version of the legendary book, play and film is an experience in itself. This is not your regular theatre showing – it’s interactive (yep, even the ‘worst toilet in Scotland’ scene…) as the audience you will be immersed in the story and the characters. If you’re a fan of the story, and can’t wait for Trainspotting 2, quench your cravings with this beauty. The show is set in The Vaults in Waterloo and the tickets are £25, it’s a bargain not to miss! The show is running until 15th January. Book your tickets at their website: http://www.trainspottinglive.com

3. The Drop Off

Here’s another chance to get fully involved in a theatre experience; for you to create the excitement of an adventurous night. The Immersive Ensemble are back with their biggest setting yet and it’s set to be the best. Become the lead actor in the newest interactive show in London; with over 9 million extras and a mission that will take you on trains and boats, it’s a mysterious night to remember. This time, you’ll be stepping into shoes of some of England’s most loved characters and making your way around Central London pursuing leads, solving problems, interacting with theatre actors at every turn; even seeing some iconic and famous sights on the way, as well as a few drinks provided for you on the way. The plot will take you to some of the most famous places but some unknown territory in London too – this is before you embark on a high escape provided by Thames Rockets. With only 12 tickets for each date, it couldn’t get more intimate. Tickets are priced at £65 (over 18’s only).

4. Love Actually at The Exhibit, Balham – 4^thDecember

It wouldn’t be my weekly list if I didn’t include a Christmas activity, now would it? This one is extra special as it’s one of my all-time favourite Christmas films. The Exhibit in Balham is an independent cinema, bar and restaurant – what does it not do?! Located right next to the tube and train station in the centre of Balham, it’s the perfect place for a rendezvous. Get your cinema ticket on their website for £9 or if you are really feeling the Sunday fun get yourself a ticket and a mini bottle of Prosecco for £15! Whilst you’re in Balham on Sunday, look out for the switching on of their Christmas lights – watch the cute streets light up for December!

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This week marks something that I have been waiting for ever since the Victoria line became 24 hours – the night tube on the Northern line. Rejoice! As it is the only line I use I am so excited that it’s finally now open. This week I will be making a lot of use out of it and having some Christmas outings. The Christmas spirit is getting crazier as the weeks go by; everything is just that little bit more cosy, there are twinkly lights on every street and London is showing off why we are one of the best Cities in the world.

Thanksgiving (24th November)

Living in London is living in a big, diverse mixing pot. There are people from all over the world that call London home; which is good news for us as it means we can celebrate every single holiday. Who needs an excuse to pig out and drink more?! This Thursday marks the third Thursday of November which means one thing in America – thanksgiving. Oh, and black Friday of course. It also means turkey, pumpkin pie, yams (sweet potatoes to me and you). Basically, as much food as you can eat. My kind of celebration! To get in to the Thanksgiving spirit why not try the Thanksgiving menu’s around town; at Bodean’s, Christopher’s, Balthazar, Bar Boulud, Texas Joe’s and Struct & Cluck just to name a few. Even better if you have an American friend in the City; hopefully they will make you some traditional grub. Hope you like Turkey!

Afternoon tea on the roof, Kensington Roof Gardens

During November and December, the iconic roof gardens in Kensington will be serving a special winter time treat. Indulge in afternoon tea on the roof! Serving an assortment of sandwiches, warm scones, yummy cakes and of course a special selection of teas and coffee. If you want to liven up your afternoon, then they also have hot cocktails on offer to keep you nice and warm – you are on a rooftop in winter after all! Discover the secrets of this year-round hotspot and enjoy afternoon tea 100ft above London. After you’ve indulged, take a walk around and the gorgeous gardens and even say hello to a few surprising extras…

Tickets for Afternoon Tea start at £35 per person.

Dirty Martini, Minories

Dirty Martini is back with another slick spot. After a £1.2m refurb, this East London newbie is no doubt set to be another hit like the others before it. Whether it’s after work drinks, a private event or just a drink (or 5), this cocktail bar is perfect.

The new Dirty Martini location has also joined its sister bars and gone all festive! Get into the Dirty Christmas and check out their offers and new festive feel. Enjoy their five limited edition cocktails and new menus from Monday 21^st November right up until Christmas eve. The Christmas Happy Hour will run all the way through December and is one to put on your list. With 9 stylish locations to choose one – let your festive season be a Dirty Martini.

The Ivy Chelsea Garden, Kings Road

This is dining in true style. The ever-lovely eatery has now gone all magical – like most things in London this month! The Winter Garden at the Ivy Chelsea Garden is now open and if you are looking for more than just brunch or a special drink… then this is the place. Located on the desirable Kings Road in the heart of Chelsea, it combines the luxurious with the utterly delicious. IT’s open all day and perfect for any wintry get together or drinks – when it’s winter and cold outside, why eat anywhere that’s not head to toe in decoration?

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Winter Wonderland

It’s here! If you’ve tried to keep Christmas out of your mind, if you are a scrooge holding out until 1^st December to dust off your Christmas jumper, then your luck has run out. The biggest, best and most festive Christmas attraction is back in Hyde Park for it’s 10th year – and they have some special treats planned to celebrate their birthday; The Nutcracker on Ice, The Magical Ice Kingdom and The Sooty Christmas Show. From Friday you can once again feel like you’re stepping into lapland itself all in the centre of London. There will be all the usual favourites; the Bavarian Village with the Bavarian beer gardens and live music, Santa Land, the wooden chalet markets and much, much more. A highlight for m is definitely the Apres Ski Chalet. I don’t need to imagine being on the slopes and visiting alpine lodges for a cosy drink, I can do it all in London. I can’t wait to dig into some Swiss fare and one too many schnapps shots. It’s the perfect place for a family outing with children , Christmas day out or even for after-work drinks if you want to make the most of the festive spirit! this year’s Christmas wonderland is open until 2nd January.

The Savoy Theatre – Dream Girls

It’s goodbye to Funny Girl and hello to a brand-new show for London. For the first time, Dream Girls will have a home on the West End at The Savoy Theatre in 2017. It’s a West End debut for Amber Riley who you might already recognise from a hit TV show. Yep, Amber portrayed Mercedes in Glee all those years ago. She’s back and has returned to the stage to take on the brand new role and the crazy powerful voice of Effie – the star of the show. The main run of the show starts next May – but catch reduced price preview tickets for Saturday 19th November. If you want a sneak peak of what to expect, check out this video and interview with Amber:

The festive Igloo’s at Coppa Club

Thought you couldn’t get more Christmassy than Winter Wonderland? Crazy as it sounds – you can. How about enjoying a festive drink and meal… in an igloo? Yep, London you have outdone yourself. The new festive attraction at Coppa Club near Tower Bridge is about to take your winter dreams come true. Inside the igloos there are blankets, pillows, candles and the best part is the most amazing view of the London skyline. They are not taking booking for the considerable future due to the popularity and success of the igloo’s; but they have kept a small amount of igloo’s free a day for first come first serve customers. So if you’re wanting in on this limited adventure – get down there quick!

Coppa Club, 9-10 Market Pl, Fitzrovia, London W1W 8AQ. Open 7:30am-12am

Vauxhall Winter Village

Another winter village? Yep, we can’t get enough. I for one am so happy about it – give me all the Christmas! This one is free and located in Vauxhall open Monday to Friday. Perfect for a school night outing or after work drinks. This winter village comes from the people behind Vauxhall’s street food garden and is no doubt going to be just as amazing. Visit the wooden chalets for some fondue, get the drinks in at the winter sports bar and there’s even a cabe car photo booth!

Vauxhall Winter Village, 6A South Lambeth Pl, http://www.vauxhallwintervillage.co.uk/

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Lost World at the Backyard Cinema, 5th November – 10th November

Want a cinema experience that’s more than just a screen and some chairs? Well thanks to Backyard Cinema, you can have an epic experience as soon as you walk in the door. This is no ordinary cinema; with seats amongst tropical plants and popcorn and cocktails in a jungle setting; this is not just a film. This is changing your cinema experience! The highlight of these movies for me has to be The Jungle Book (2016) on Wednesday 9th. What more could you ask for on a Wednesday than watching a Disney film on bean bags sitting in a jungle? I can’t think of anything.

Other highlights include Hook on Tuesday 8^th and Finding Dory on Friday 11^th. You’ll have to be quick though, as tickets are only on sale for a limited amount of time.

The Radical Eye – Modernist Photography from the Sir Elton John Collection, 10th November – 7th May 2017

The new collection at the Tate Modern is a once in a lifetime opportunity. From Thursday take a sneak peak into one of the greatest art collections and see an incredible group of Man Ray portraits through the eyes of Sir Elton John. For the first time ever pieces of his collection from the last 25 years will be on display for you; including portraits of Matisse, Picasso and Breton. There will be over 7 artists and more than double the amount of rare prints such as Brassai, Aleksandr Rodchenko and Imogen Cunningham.

Whether you’re a fan of Man Ray, the Tate Modern or Sir Elton John himself – this is sure not one to miss. The exhibition is open from Thursday with tickets costing £16.50 or free for members at the Tate Modern, Bankside.

Armistice Day (11^thNovember) and Remembrance Sunday (13^th November)

Armistice day is here again and where better to be than London to celebrate this momentous day. Made even more special as from 2014-2018 as it marks the centenary of WW1. As always on Remembrance Sunday (13^th) the annual Cenotaph ceremony and parade will take place attended by the Queen, politicians and military representatives. This will affect transport in London that day, so be sure to check the TFL website before you travel!

On Remembrance Day on Friday, The Royal British Legion will hold its Silence in the Square event in Trafalgar Square. From 10am-11:15am there will be music, readings and of course, together in unison the 2-minute silence will be upheld to remember all those who lost their lives in the WW1, WW2 and all those since.

Leicester Square Christmas Market, 11^th November – 8^th January

Brand new for 2016 –  a traditional Christmas market has landed in Central London! See one of London’s most famous squares be transformed into a true winter grotto. This one I am particularly excited about as I work not far from here so you will find me here on lunch breaks getting fuelling my Christmas spirit! It will have everything you have come to expect from a traditional market; wooden huts, warming festive drinks and hand crafted gifts from all around the globe. If that’s not enough excitement for you; in the centre of Leicester Square will be a velvety, glamorous Belgian Spiegel tent. In there will be Olivier Award winning theatre group La Soiree; a theatrical phenomenon of cabaret, new burlesque and circus antics! Another day out to add to your ever-growing list of Christmas outings.

Winter festival at the Southbank Centre, 11^th November – 25^th January

The Southbank Centre is getting a festive makeover! From 11th November it will be transformed into a snowy, riverside landscape perfect for your winter escapades. Complete with a huge tree, twinkly lights and wooden huts full of the usual market treats.

As well as the Winter Festival, there’s a whole host of other festive events happening at the Southbank this winter. The Rekorderlig Winter Lodge will be open from 11^th also; enjoy a Scandinavian experience with tasty food, a traditional fire pit and a glass of hot plum cider. We definitely won’t blame you for not moving all day!

Fancy something a little more thrilling? BUMP Rollerdisco is opening this Friday. Grab some skates and get going! Fun for the whole family, with music blaring and lights sparkling it’s the perfect answer for some winter fun! Keep your eyes pealed for weekend DJ’s and performances too. Try this alternative winter activity at your own risk…especially after the Rekorderlig lodge!

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No street encompasses the Christmas spirit quite like Oxford Street; no doubt you’ll be spending many hours there fawning over the pretty decorations and getting those last minute christmas presents. If you want to see that very moment the famous street gets it’s Christmas accessories – keep the 6th November free for a truly festive event! 1778 snowball decorations (and a staggering 750,000 LED lightbulb) will be lighting up for the 57th year when the lights get officially switched on.

Bonfire night, 5th November

It’s that time of year again, the aftermath of Halloween and the gateway to Christmas – it’s Bonfire night and that means fireworks, fireworks, fireworks! Being in London means you have some of the best firework displays in the country. No one does it like the Londoners. I’ve picked out some of the best for you: Battersea park (which is where I will be stood in the freezing cold!), Alexandra Palace, Crystal Palace, Southwark and Blackheath. Wherever you go, may it be accompanied with loved ones, alcohol to keep you warm and a big bonfire!

The Cuban Brothers: Brixton Rooftop Party @ The Big Apple, 5th November 3pm – 11:59pm 

Say goodbye to the Beach Boulevard that has been at home on this rooftop since the summer and say hello to buzzing streets of Harlem – The Big Apple 1977 has arrived in Brixton! Opening on 27th October, this brand new bar is one of a kind in the South. Where else can you party in the City that never sleeps with street food, live music and still be in our beloved London? Here. Get yourself to Brixton. This Saturday The Cuban Brothers, Slothboogie, Larry Luvin’ and Inner City Dave will be there to help you into a Saturday night vibe at the rooftop bar. An amazing cast of DJ’s, themed bars, a nightclub, food for when you’ve drunk a little too much and entertainment… really, what more could we ask for of a Saturday? See you there!

Bank of England Museum, 10am-3pm free entry daily

The museums Banknote Gallery is now open – newly refurbished to coincide with our new five pound note! Not only can get you get your hands on one if you haven’t already but the museum also features the interesting history of our famous banking system, displays a variety of historical material drawn from the Bank’s own collections including books, documents, silver, prints, coins and photographs. There is also a chance to design your own bank note and to even hold a real, and heavy, piece of gold.

Bartholomew Ln, London EC2R 8AH.

Nearest tube stop – Bank.

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Whether we like it or not, we’re packed into carriages like sardines for the best part of 2 hours a day (if you’re lucky) and even though we hate it, we endure it daily. No-one speaks on the tube nor does anyone make conversation on their commute into the office. You just don’t do it – it’s an unspoken rule. As well as the usual silence, there are other things that as a Londoner you know is not for the tube. The etiquette of the tube is one thing you should learn as soon as you get to the City, it should be an induction as important as where to find the printer at your new job.

Then there are the not so secret rules for the tubes, the ones that as human beings we should know are a big fat no-no. Like you just don’t do it. This is the tube, not a hippy convention for expressing your feelings. (I was brought back down to earth like this when I tried to make conversation with someone at 8am on the platform at Balham. That was a life lesson learned). When I asked my housemates about the worst things they’ve experienced on a tube, the stories ranged from random people using them as a cushion to someone throwing up… and then getting off at the next stop like nothing had happened. That sort of behaviour will put you in the ‘fellow tube users hate you and everything that you have done’ category. However, there was one that took the biscuit and actually left me thinking ‘where the hell do these people come from?’ Clipping your toenails on a tube is an actual thing that happens apparently. I couldn’t believe it myself but one commuter just started casually maintaining their toe nails whilst on the Northern line. That takes multi-tasking to a whole new level. He should have been glared at the whole way to his station then his Oyster card be confiscated immediately.

As well as the things that you should just know, like personal maintenance waiting until you get home, there are other unspoken rules of the underground of this wonderful and hectic City. One of the funniest and most awkward situations to manoeuvre is when a seat comes free on a very busy tube. What is the normal procedure? What’s the social code? Well, first of all you have to become a pretty good actress. Act like that seat is the last thing you want, when really your craving it more than the bottle of wine you have in the fridge at home. Look around absent mindedly and act as if you are thinking about everything but that seat. Then, when an acceptable amount of time has passed (about 30 seconds or on the central line about 15 seconds) you can pounce on that golden seat and give your swollen feet a rest. However, if there is an elderly person or pregnant lady in the vicinity forget everything I’ve just said. You give up that seat. If you don’t, you could be seen as a worse human than the toenail cutter.

It should be common practice, but somehow it isn’t a rule of the underground that you should wait (and part down the middle like Moses did with the sea) to wait for people to depart the tube before you get on. If you are crazy or stupid enough to push your way on as someone struggles to get off – prepare to get stared at menacingly. Expect to get a tut as people express their disgust at your mental behaviour. Let’s be real – you haven’t done anything illegal. You’ve just not adhered to an unwritten rule of the tube, which actually is probably worse than committing an illegal act. It’s the same as stopping to read one of the very easy to follow and colourful tube maps. If you decide to wait until you are in the narrow corridor of the station to slowly map out your journey, then prepare to be shoved. Those commuters behind you that have rushed from the office frantically to have a chance at catching their train home will not thank you for taking over the whole walkway. They won’t thank you – but they will get past you. Some way or another.

Commuting in London is character building to say the least, it gives you a strength that you never knew possible. It gives you a hate of people that you never thought you could feel – but we love it. As Londoners, we will moan every time a packed train turns up at Kennington when we had our hearts set on a deserted one and we will moan when someone refuses to move even though they’re surrounded by empty space. Yet, despite our synchronous grunts as the packed train crawls into Kennington we can’t help but come back for more. After all we will never, ever stop using our beloved tube.

The post Musings of a London Underground Commuter appeared first on The Urban Watch Magazine.